“It’s all a bit other-wordly when I’m in character” It’s a bit hard to remember what it’s like when I’m in character”
Neil Bidner has just finished a big evening at the Kingston Butter Factory, having been hired by event organizer Jane Dear.
His job is to liven up the markets by being the entertainer. Market-goers would recognise him as Senior Constable Robert, a retired policeman from the United Kingdom holidaying in Australia.
I ask him how he got involved in the comedy-acting business.
“I was a performer. One day, I was just singing, playing guitar and this fellow from the audience came up to me one night while I was in the audience and asked me if I’d considered doing comedy character work.
Didn’t know what he was talking about, so I went along to one of his performances, and thought “Wow, you get paid for doing this?”
“I went about putting characters together, and I contacted agents and started to get work.
“If it feels like you’re going well, it normally means you are going well. If it feels like you are tanking, it normally means that you are tanking. Luckily, it doesn’t happen very often.”
Bidner has been at it for nearly 30 years, but says that COVID has hit the comedic acting profession hard.
“As far as markets go, that was the first market I’ve done since the pandemic.
“I was at the Kingston Butter Factory a few years ago, and I have performed at other locations in Logan previously.”
I ask him about his method of acting, and whether he feels ‘possessed’ by the character, when strolling around the market.
“It’s important when you’re in character not to let them take over. You’ve got to be in control so you can make sure everything you say is appropriate. You can get away with some stuff when you’re in character, but you can’t go out there and just say and do everything.
“You want to be funny and likable, and you want to be appropriate”
“If it’s a little bit naughty it’s okay. I look at it as the dial just needs to hover up and down, and just keep a little bit to the left of being acceptable”
“When I say naughty, a buck’s show is completely different to doing a market.
“If I’m interacting with a young couple, and they’re giving me the green light by their behaviour.A lot of it’s to do with the public. They give you the green light, and you get a feel for the people you are with.
“With young families, I normally talk to the kids as the policeman, and say “Are Mum and Dad well? Are they being naughty? Anything I should know about?”
“That’s the true love of what I do, the psychology or the dynamics of it.”
I ask him where these characters came from.
“Bobby just seemed like a policeman. Obviously I didn’t want to be an Australian policeman. A policeman’s a good character to do at the markets.
“He’s on a work exchange program, he’s in Australia because he’s too old, I mean really the idea is that the character is too old to be a policeman anyway. He thinks he’s this young cop, but he’s actually scared.
“With Dawn, Dawn usually just gets info from the customers first, and then runs with that. She’s on the way back home from the bowls, and she’s dropped in at the markets the same as anyone else.
“Dawn is based on my mother, who was a leghorn as they called them. I had a ready made costume because about 80% of what I wear as Dawn is my mum’s old bowls gear.
“You don’t really consciously think up characters, they just come to you. “
Bidner says that his costume, makeup, voice and backstory are the most important elements to building a character.
I ask him whether he has ever gone too-far while in character.
“I wouldn’t say trouble, but you put your foot in your mouth sometimes, usually unknowingly”
“I don’t know whether you can put this stuff in your story, but it was Dawn at the Eumundi Markets, one of her lines used to be if it was a couple, I’d talk to the lady and say “Your man’s got wandering eyes” suggesting that her partner was giving Dawn the eye, the come on.
“I said that to a lady one time at the markets, and he blurted out an obscenity, and when I looked at him, he was actually cross-eyed”
“The rule now is never say anything about anybody!”
“You’ve just got to fully gauge people before you say anything.
This is another, maybe Dawn’s the culprit, I was sitting having a cup of tea and a scone outside a cafe at the Eumundi Markets and the lady, she was doing all the talking and her husband was just sitting there, and I remember Dawn saying to the partner “Oh, your gentleman friend, he doesn’t say much, does her, you’ve got him well trained to keep to himself, and she actually came back with, “Well, he’s actually had a stroke, and he can’t speak”.
“You’ve just got to be careful.
“All the characters have a set of gags, or jokes, or stories that pertain to them. Some of the jokes over the years, I’ve used with a number of characters.”
Finally, I ask Bidner if Senior-Constable Robert, or Dawn Longhorn will be back in Logan anytime soon.
“I hail from the Eumundi Markets, so I work there regularly Wednesdays and Sundays, but things are still building back from COVID, so they’re very slow.”
