SUPPORTING women who have lost a child through forced adoption, fostering or life circumstance, the You Gave Me A Voice support group is encouraging women in the Logan City and Scenic Rim areas to connect with them.
Logan resident and founder of the support group, Vivienne Timmermans, lost her baby to adoption 40 years ago.
During her teens, Mrs Timmermans was an Australian champion figure roller skater with big plans ahead. However, at age 17 she gave birth to a daughter, deciding to adopt out the baby girl.
It was a secret she kept for over 18 years, until they reunited.
“My daughter actually found me,” Mrs Timmermans told Rebel FM’s Jodie Shepherd.
“She had turned 18, and the government had given her my details. She had asked for [them].
“She just looked in the white pages, found her grandmother and in two hours we were in contact. Well, within two hours she had my name.”
However, before her daughter had reached out, Vivienne had kept the story of her adopted baby to herself, even from her husband and children.
“I kept that a secret,” Mrs Timmermans said. “[My husband] did not know…”
The secret almost cost Mrs Timmermans her marriage, however she is encouraging other women in the same situation to come forward and connect with other ‘birth mothers’ for support.
“There’s a lot of women out there, I know you’re out there, your husband doesn’t know, your children today don’t know.
“However, if you come to us, that is still private for you. You can come and speak to us, and that can still remain the same if that’s what you wish.
“We’re there to just support them. We’re not going to force them to make any decisions, it’s just a safe space for them to come and listen.”
One of the support group’s members is Joyce Westerman, who gave birth and then adopted out her daughter in 1970. Ms Westerman believes the group is a safe space where women in the same situation can express their feelings openly.
“Back in those days there was a lot of shame attached to having a child out of marriage,” Ms Westerman said.
“My family was quite religious, so therefore I gave my child up. There was no support from [the] government back then, so we didn’t have a lot of options. I went to a home for unmarried mothers, and nobody knew about it other than my family and two best friends, and it remained that way for a lot of years.
“[But] when I met Viv, she was really devoted to starting a support group so I joined her and became part of that, to help other women.”
This month also marks an important anniversary for women who have lost children to forced adoption. November 27th recognises the 8th anniversary of the apology from the state government to women and families affected by the forced adoption policy in Australia between 1950 and 1970.
Mrs Timmermans said this date is another reason women who have lost children to forced adoption, fostering or life circumstances should come together for support.
“For various different reasons these women lost their babies,” Mrs Timmermans said.
“You Gave Me A Voice is about those women who aren’t talking, or live in shame, [or] they’re too embarrassed.
“It’s incredible because when I listen to other ladies, that actually helps me heal, because I thought that I was the only one who thought that. When I hear somebody actually say that that’s what they were thinking or that’s what they were feeling, I’m thinking ‘Oh My God! I thought that too!’ So, I’m not alone and it’s all about not being alone.”
The You Gave Me a Voice mother’s adoption support group meets at 10am on the 3rd Saturday of every month at 57 Billington Street, Labrador.
You can also learn more about Mrs Timmermans’ experience through her autobiography You Named Me Sheree.
